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This Post Is Not Going to Amaze You

This, right here, is going to be a below-average, unplanned, spontaneous, barely edited regular-ole’-Joe kind of post. 

So, hold onto your socks, they’re not going anywhere. 

I’m a writer, so I have pretty high standards for anything everything I put out into the world that includes words.

This includes my Memoir I’ve been working on diligently for 1.5 years now, Workshop Proposals, Press Releases, website content, newspaper articles, contributing articles for sites like Wandering Educators, text messages, blog comments, Facebook posts, Pinterest posts, and…it includes this blog.

With every flashy would-be Blog Headline that passes through my mind, I pin it like a Pinterest pin on the bulletin board of my mind and ask myself one question…

Pulitzer Prize material, or not?

Ha! I’m just kidding!

My standards are kind of high, though. Someone once told me, “There’s no such thing as a great first draft, only great editing.” I’m a writer, so I know that all good content comes in the tedious task of working and re-working, fine-tuning, and fine-tooth-combing your work to make it as good as it can possibly be.

So, where does this leave me in the great post-something-once-or-twice-or-30-times-a-day Blog world?

It leaves me wishing I could write faster, edit with more feverish fervor, hire SuperNanny, win the lottery and just lower my own ridiculous bar so I can just step over it and get on with blasting out multiple amaze-a-friend posts many times per day.

But, every time I write to you, dear friends, I want to be profound, dangit! I want to move you tears, knock those socks off of ya right into the next room, urge you to do something about something, or simply sink you deeper into the seat of your soul as you read. That is my intention, every day (or every other day, or once a week, or once every other week, or as often as I can!).

Every day I check my email inbox to find a plethora of consistent bloggers (like this guy or better yet, this gal who’s preggo with numero quatro, homeschools, and still blogs every day) dumping yet another gift-wrapped, neat little bit of their being into my email box, all nice and tidy, pristine and pretty, looking quite nicely edited, and even with fantastic photos to go with…and I think, what the heck is wrong with me? Why can’t I do that?

I wish I could post more! I’m sure I could make a full-time job out of delighting and inspiring you daily, but, we all know, “real life” comes first.

These two.

And a dream for this:

And maybe this:

And in between, a dream to have just one person a day come here, and feel…something…feel known, seen, heard, understood, deepened, or dare I say, enlightened?

And, profundity takes time, and work, and thoughtfulness. I’m not saying those who produce multiple posts a day don’t use all these tools – just that I guess I move at a slower pace???

What’s The Punchline? 

All this being said, in this amazingly wonderfully blaise, inadequate, ill-formatted and unplanned post…

I am making plans for what I hope will be a series of Posts That Will Amaze, Stun & Shock You (oops, sorry, the overzealous Circus Ringleader in me just urped out there!).

They’ll be comin’ right up, hot and fresh, just as soon as I can take 42 hours to edit each one ’til it’s perfectly, tidily, primly, properly, proportionately prepared for you.

And The Moral of the Story Is (Because we always have to have a moral!)

I’m sure you can tell, the tone of my posts has changed. Don’t worry, I’ll get all serious and deep on you again soon! For now, and for the first time in three very long years of pure, unimaginable funeral-ridden hell, I am sitting back and soaking up the rays of joy that are spreading ooey-gooey-cheesy sunshine into every crevice of my life.

I worked VERY hard to get to this place – to be able to get up in the morning and choose to see the glass half full, instead of feeling the weight of lack, pain, grief, and sorrow defining my existence. It took a lot of work for me to pull back the edges of the black cloud over me, and search for a rainbow in the sky somewhere above it. So, I do believe a bit of “Just for the joy of it!” celebrating is in order for a time!

I’m looking forward to sharing my upcoming series on the gifts in loss with you soon. First, I’ve got a little joy calling me. I’m throwing a birthday party for my son – a birthday party! I haven’t enjoyed something as silly and inane as throwing a birthday party in A YEAR! Can you believe I’m over-the-moon about Traffic Signal Rice Krispy Treats and Grape-pinned Apple Cars?! This is miraculous in and of itself.

Every day, I’ve been waking up, choosing to live, “Just for the joy of it! Just for the joy of it!” For a girl who’s got as many funeral dresses as Katherine Heigl had bridesmaids dresses in 27 dresses, this is pretty freaking fantastic, I think. So, page views, take a break for awhile if you must, I’ll be sendin’ some more amazin’ your way soon. We’ve got recessions to beat, tragedies to alight, awakenings to unfold, soul food to crunch, and much more…coming right up, on a hot soul-plate of somethin’, as soon as I can whip slow cook up some more homemade profundity for you all!

They do say, it’s all about quality, not quantity, right?!

(Goshdangit, I just couldn’t do it – I simply COULD NOT put this post out there without some prissy, perfecting editing and some pretty pictures! Dangit! The Writer Within wins again!) 

#writing #death #lifeafterloss #blogging #lifeafterdeath #Grief #faith #joy #life #inspiration #bitsofme

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