Accepting the Unacceptable ~ Finding Peace in Pain


Editor’s Note: I’ve made some minor changes to this post, as I prepped Part 2 and new directions unfolded.

When you are facing a hard circumstance, it may feel like a black cloud has settled over you, and you have become one with that cloud. Your life becomes a dark rain storm, pouring down deep drops of sorrow and suffering into your life.

Perhaps you are going through a divorce, a job loss, facing financial issues, feeling the betrayal of a friend, or watching a loved one face an illness.

Whatever it is, it is your battle, and it can feel unbearable when you are at the heart of the pain.

I’ve been in this space countless times. It has become so familiar to me, for awhile I started to think it was me, because it became so hard to see the beauty of life, surrounded by darkness.


Walking this path of loss, I’ve had to work really hard, daily, at making the conscious choice to live in light, instead of darkness.

To do this, I have had to work at embracing the pain of hurts, injustices, or losses that I have not been able to face, from both the past and the present.

People say, “You shouldn’t live in the past!” The truth is, even if your pain started in the past, it is still in your present. It is affecting you every day, whether you see it or not.


Many of us feel we are not equipped to face and embrace our pain. We fear they will be too much to handle.

In fact, it is scientifically proven that unexpressed pain is what negatively impacts our emotional, physical and spiritual health. I experienced this in spades after the death of my nephew. The emotions were so intense, it felt they were impossible to face, so I buried them instead.

It has only been in the last few years of looking at my pain, that I’ve been able to address, accept, and move through that old pain, to find peace.

It’s been hard bringing up the past, but it helped me to be a healthier, more radiantly alive person.

Now, I try to address any negative emotions that come up immediately.


I learned the life-altering negative impacts of ignoring my pain when my nephew died. For years, I was joyless, unhappy, and living in the identity of victim-hood.


Photo courtesy Sunfellow Photography http://www.sunfellow.com/


A dear friend of mine likes to say, “You gotta feel it to heal it!”

I like to say, “You can’t go around it…gotta go through it!”

So, as you are sitting here reading this, I encourage you to gently notice the pain that is lying dormant, or maybe aggressively active, within you. Look at it and begin to see it with eyes of compassion instead of judgement. Can you see how it could dramatically improve your life to deal with this pain, instead of ignoring it? Can you see how this pain has kept you from living a more fulfilling life? 

Be willing to go within and look at your pain. This simple process requires no more then your willingness to participate. You don’t need anyone else to be with you in it. You don’t need any materials (although I do ALWAYS recommend having a good journal and a good book as your close friends AT ALL TIMES!). And, you don’t need to be afraid.

Part II will be posted tomorrow, so stay tuned. 🙂

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Thank you for reading, and if you would be kind, make me smile by leaving a little comment. =) It helps me to know what speaks to you, so I can write more on the topics that help you! So, go ahead, click that little comment button below and tell me you were here! You can DEW IT! 

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